Road distractions or literature?

Proliferation of bumper stickers has taken on entirely new meaning in the last 10 years. It used to be that while driving, the only thing you saw on the rear end of car in front of you were the make of a car and a license plate. Then, as tourism increased, you would often see an international symbol of a country (usually one or two letters) – thus you were informed that the car (presumably the driver, too) was French, German or American. In countries with large immigrant population (such as Canada) they would often denote not a tourist but an ethnicity of a local driver.
Later, people started to communicate to drivers behind, their beliefs, political persuasion, marital status, sexual orientation, psychological portraits and generally their life philosophy. For example I knew that the driver in front of me wanted to kill all the communists, or to stop or start a war, abolish nuclear arsenal. Or have sex with me (just showing a “finger” wasn’t good enough anymore)of which I was informed by reading a sign “Fuck you” which tantalized my imagination. Often such a public proposal came right after someone else informed me with big letters that “Jesus is my Lord”, or “Allah is Great”. What perplexed me was the fact that both signs could be seen on the same car-make, year and colour. One would think that different gods sanctified different car makers. It would make sense that European Citroen would adhere to “Jesus” as Toyota would stick to Budha.. But, than, what do I know of gods and their automobile tastes?
Others would stick a fish sign on their bumper. Avid fisherman? Or believer that about 4 thousand years ago God said “abracadabra” and Adam was born. The next guy (he was probably a fisherman who was offended by such miscommunication) added legs to the belly of his fish sign. He believed that Adam came from a walking fish which was bored to death in primordial ocean. I was left confused. Fish or fish with legs?
The latest craze is a bumper sticker proudly proclaiming: “Baby on board”. Is the baby always on board, doesn’t it stay home ever? Is the baby driving? Is the mother-driver breast feeding it while driving? Are they selling the baby (hence the add) or maybe just informing me not to rear-end them? Can I rear-end cars that don’t have such a sticker? Does it means that the driver is absolved from observing the signs and rules of the road? Equally insane is a sign “Support the troops” very popular in the US and in Canada. So sending them to battlefields were they could be killed or injured is a form of support and demanding their safe return home is unsupportive?
Well, maybe I should just stick to the old “finger”. Not in the upright position, but placed in the middle of my forehead. Knock, knock. Anybody home?
But if you would insist on reading some of the best sticker visit:
http://www.funny2.com/bumper.htm

About Bogumil P-G

publisher, essayist, poet lived (and born) in Poland, later England, Italy, presently in Canada
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